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It’s Good Friday, and my thoughts have been on the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus all through the week. It was the fulfillment of the Father’s will for Him, planned from before the beginning of time. My mind, my heart, can neither fully comprehend nor hold the exquisite truth of His precious provision on our behalf. All I can do is worship.
This morning I had an MRI to determine whether I have a brain tumor, as a specialist suspects. As you might expect, my thoughts tended to run amuck for a while when I heard of that possibility. I want to know now what the verdict is so I can plan. We have guests arriving at the lodge in a week—what to do about that. I’m not feeling well; can I handle the work load. Brain surgery is terrifying. Will I be disfigured. Or deaf. Maybe there’s no tumor at all. That would be a huge relief. Please, God.
Rising to the top of all those worryings and speculations came this truth from 1 Thess. 5:17-18: “pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Today, I don’t know what the outcome will be regarding a brain tumor—or anything else for that matter. But this very unknowing, the waiting, is the will of God concerning me right now. This is one of those times that burn the dross from my feeble faith, and I can tell you, I writhe a little. Or a lot. I trust the sovereignty of God, yes? How deeply? This tends to reveal that there’s room to grow.
Scripture says that Jesus learned obedience through His suffering. So must I, in spades. He was led as a lamb to slaughter, and He opened not his mouth. I thought of that while I was lying in the MRI tunnel this morning, my head in a cage. I asked the Lord to help me be meek and submissive and obedient to that testing and its outcome; to His will concerning me, planned from before the beginning of time, whatever it may be. There are other testings in the works as well; our cup runneth over.
My scattered thoughts narrow down to this single one. When I consider Jesus Christ and all that was accomplished in His death and resurrection on our behalf, I can do nothing but kneel and pray, “Not my will, but Thy will be done.”
Since mine eyes were fixed on Jesus,
I’ve lost sight of all beside—
So enchained my spirit’s vision,
Looking at the Crucified.
All for Jesus! All for Jesus!
Looking at the Crucified.
All for Jesus! All for Jesus!
Looking at the Crucified.
Oh, what wonder! how amazing!
Jesus, glorious King of kings,
Deigns to call me His beloved,
Lets me rest beneath His wings.
All for Jesus! All for Jesus!
Resting now beneath His wings.
All for Jesus! All for Jesus!
Resting now beneath His wings.
We taped this verse to our industrial cooler/freezer years ago, and it’s been a good reminder. Spurgeon elaborates and stomps on my toes a bit. Thanks, Mr. Spurgeon.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23,24). This saying grants significance to the weary routine of earthly employments and shed a halo around the most humble occupations. To wash feet may be servile, but to wash His feet is royal work. To untie sandals is poor employment, but to unloose the Master’s shoe is a princely privilege. The shop, the barn, the kitchen, and the workbench become temples when men and women do all to the glory of God! This divine service does not take place for a few hours and in a few places, but all life becomes holiness to the the Lord, and every place and thing as consecrated as the tabernacle and its contents.
Teach me, my God and King, in all things Thee to see;
And what I do in anything to do it as to Thee.
All my of Thee partake, nothing can be so mean,
Which with this tincture, for Thy sake, will not grow bright and clean.
A servant with this clause makes drudgery divine;
Who sweeps a room as for Thy laws, makes that and the action fine.”
-Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, December 11
When you have a moment, this is worth your time.
Have a great Friday, everyone!
Yesterday I went to see a specialist about the considerable, debilitating pain I’ve had in my shoulders and back during the past week. I suspected a rotator cuff problem or something like that. Examination and xrays eliminated that suspicion and, in fact, showed no apparent cause for such pain. The specialist was stumped. Take 2 Aleve twice a day and call me in a few months if it returns. Swell.
While I’m relieved that there’s nothing torn or damaged, I’d like to know the reason for all the pain, and how I can eliminate it. Driving away from the dr’s office the thought came that once again I’m left without an answer I so long for. I like to know the reason things happen. I want control.
And once again, I realize that I must/can rest in the truth that God is sovereign over pain and has purpose in it. I’m not in control. He is; and that is pure grace. I have much physical work to do during the next two weeks at our counseling lodge and I trust him to provide the ability to do the work or to provide other means for it to be done. Faith is the refusal to panic.
